Do I have a target on my head, my heart?! Sometimes I feel that way. The past year...as in from August 2008 through today has been one year that I don't understand in my life. Yet it has been a year where I've celebrated the birth of my friend, Lauren's, son, Reid; I've celebrated my friend, Lorry's wedding; I've celebrated Jill's wedding; I've been to lots of football games; I've celebrated the news of my friend, Kristin's, pregnancy with Emma; I've celebrated the new of my friend, Lorry's, pregnancy with Tanner; I've celebrated the engagement of two fabulous, treasured friends, Steven and Courtney; I've celebrated having the joy of being asked to be one of Courtney's bridesmaids; I've celebrated my 28th birthday; I've celebrated my sister, brother, mom, and dad's birthdays; I've celebrated friends' birthdays; I've celebrated friends' family member's birthday; I've been saddened by the loss of a friend's loved-one; I've been saddened by the way a "friend" has treated my dad; I've learned more about who I am and what I want out of life; I've learned that in my life I must do what is right for me; I've struggled with self-esteem and body image; I've struggled with changing friendships or rather revelations of the type of friendship they are was not what I thought they were; I've celebrated working my butt off to put out a rockin' report at work; I've celebrated my sis ordering her Aggie ring; I've signed up for fantasy football and am determined to do well with the help of my sis...we will prevail(!); I've realized even more that I'm someone of second chances...everyone deserves one; I've realized even more than ever that I will not settle and if that means I'm picky or extremely picky than so be it; I've learned even more that my savior, and Lord are walking me through this craziness to become more of the person He has planned for me to be and to the place he wants me to be; I've learned and realized that I may be single for the rest of my life but that doesn't mean I'll be alone as Jesus is always with me and being single with Jesus is way more fun than being in a relationship I don't want or isn't meant to be; I've realized/learned/struggled/etc............................
I've done a lot this year. It has all brought me to who I am and where I am and wouldn't change it for anything. However, I would like to understand why some circumstances had to happen. I would like to understand why my heart feels a certain way about a certain situation. I would like to understand....I would like to know.......I would like.......
Reality?! I may never know. I may never understand. I may never get what I would like. That's right! I'm okay with that. The extremely human-side of me isn't but the part of me that relies on God and has been shaped by Him is okay with that because God only wants what is best for me and something better will be around the corner. Even if I don't think so, I will eventually realize it as God's will is where I want to be.
As such, here is what I do know right now: I have an amazing family...I have some fabulous friends...I am a rockin' CPA with goals for the future that I'm excited about...I have a house and a car (nice ones, I might add, that I feel so blessed to have)...A church I can go to every week...the ability to support myself...I'm an "aunt" to Mr. Reid who I do not get to see often enough(!)...I'm a soon to be "aunt" to Miss Emma(!)...I have a love for music...
I have and know a lot. You do too if you think about it. It isn't Thanksgiving yet, but I challenge you to be thankful for all that you do have and do know. IT is MORE than you think! I know it was for me when I really thought about it.
Now, no this doesn't take away those human feelings, human wants, and human needs that scream really loud, but it does mean that you can be happy in your current circumstances and have a plan that may change but a plan for the future.
So, even if you think you have a target on you like I do sometimes, you can know that YOU are LOVED and YOU are on the ROAD to becoming a better person...the person God wants you to be and you know what you need to know when you need to know it.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
August 24, 2009
The 24th day of August, the 8th month of the year.
The 236th day of the year.
We are currently 64.7% through the year.
123 days til Christmas.
129 day til we ring in 2010.
Did you know all that?
What does this year mean to you so far?
Do you understand the circumstances that have happened to you?
Do you understand the relationships that have developed and/or gone away thus far?
Do you know that God has a reason for YOU and for you making is this far into 2009?
Do you know that God can be the best friend you don't have? Or be another best friend you have?
Do you know that positive thinking is what will bring you the most fulillment? Remember, though, that you aren't perfect and will have times of negativity or "less-positive" times.
Do you know that no matter what God has plans to propsper you and not for harm? (check out Jeremiah 29:11)
Do you know that each day has enough worry of it's own, so why worry about what tomorrow may bring? (check out Matthew 6, end of chapter)
Do you know?
Yes, I'm on a bit of a "do you know" phase right now with myself. I've asked myself all of these questions. Most of them I can answer, actually almost all of them. However, there are a few that I can't. The reason I can't is because I'm not sure what God's reasoning is for everything that has gone on this year in my life; I'm not sure why my relationships are what they are this year so far; but I do know that God has a reason and a purpose. It is hard no knowing and not understanding. I have to trust that no matter what, God is in control. He has my best at heart and knows the people that I need in my life and why. He also knows the people that need me in their life and why.
Know this, God's plan and reasoning is better than yours could be any day. You may not know now, but it is all working towards something wonderful, something good.
May God Bless each of You as You travel through this week and this adventure we call Life!
:)
The 236th day of the year.
We are currently 64.7% through the year.
123 days til Christmas.
129 day til we ring in 2010.
Did you know all that?
What does this year mean to you so far?
Do you understand the circumstances that have happened to you?
Do you understand the relationships that have developed and/or gone away thus far?
Do you know that God has a reason for YOU and for you making is this far into 2009?
Do you know that God can be the best friend you don't have? Or be another best friend you have?
Do you know that positive thinking is what will bring you the most fulillment? Remember, though, that you aren't perfect and will have times of negativity or "less-positive" times.
Do you know that no matter what God has plans to propsper you and not for harm? (check out Jeremiah 29:11)
Do you know that each day has enough worry of it's own, so why worry about what tomorrow may bring? (check out Matthew 6, end of chapter)
Do you know?
Yes, I'm on a bit of a "do you know" phase right now with myself. I've asked myself all of these questions. Most of them I can answer, actually almost all of them. However, there are a few that I can't. The reason I can't is because I'm not sure what God's reasoning is for everything that has gone on this year in my life; I'm not sure why my relationships are what they are this year so far; but I do know that God has a reason and a purpose. It is hard no knowing and not understanding. I have to trust that no matter what, God is in control. He has my best at heart and knows the people that I need in my life and why. He also knows the people that need me in their life and why.
Know this, God's plan and reasoning is better than yours could be any day. You may not know now, but it is all working towards something wonderful, something good.
May God Bless each of You as You travel through this week and this adventure we call Life!
:)
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
It...Really Shows How Great of a Heart You have.
This is what I was told last night. Well, one of the things. I've found that when I'm friends with someone or someone impacts my life in some way that no matter what I forgive and want to be there in any way for them that may be needed. I know this is a compliment. I embrace it as I'd rather be this way than a bitter, mad person all the time. However, sometimes I would rather just forget and move on. God did not make me this way, though.
I'll never forget my high school days in the Appalachian Mountains in East Tennessee at Daniel Boone High School. I'll also never forget my senior year that was full of happy, fun times but also some times that I wish God hadn't let happen. However, before I even made it to Texas, we moved right after graduation (literally), I had forgiven everyone for situations that had happened and things that had been said. I'm so glad I did this, so very glad. I've reconnected through the years with so many friends from high school and that makes me happy.
As I've contemplated all of this over the past day, I realized that this is a gift God has given me and in the end every situation will make sense. In the end I'm a better person. In the end, hopefully, I'm ministering or helping someone else out. In the end I'm being the person God made me to be and not someone I'm not.
In the end, I'm giving relationships of all kinds my all and not giving up on them. That makes me happy. That is what I feel we are all called to do. It may just be in a different fashion. Who knows.
May God bless each of you! Much love to you all!
I'll never forget my high school days in the Appalachian Mountains in East Tennessee at Daniel Boone High School. I'll also never forget my senior year that was full of happy, fun times but also some times that I wish God hadn't let happen. However, before I even made it to Texas, we moved right after graduation (literally), I had forgiven everyone for situations that had happened and things that had been said. I'm so glad I did this, so very glad. I've reconnected through the years with so many friends from high school and that makes me happy.
As I've contemplated all of this over the past day, I realized that this is a gift God has given me and in the end every situation will make sense. In the end I'm a better person. In the end, hopefully, I'm ministering or helping someone else out. In the end I'm being the person God made me to be and not someone I'm not.
In the end, I'm giving relationships of all kinds my all and not giving up on them. That makes me happy. That is what I feel we are all called to do. It may just be in a different fashion. Who knows.
May God bless each of you! Much love to you all!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
So much to say...
...yet I can't find the words.
Do you ever feel that way? I do. I feel that way now and I have felt that way quite a bit throughout this year. It is a feeling that in many ways doesn't bother me but in other ways does. Let me explain: it bothers me when I want to use my feelings to help others or to hopefully help others. It bothers me when I just want to verbalize and get it out. It doesn't bother me when I realize the thoughts and feelings make me happy and I don't need to verbalize them.
I can say that I will never fully understand this feeling. The same way I will never fully understand the events of this year or rather the past couple of years.
My dad told me tonight that sometime we are taken through things or allowed to go through certian thing to better who we are or to show us who we are and can be. However, I struggle with going through things, times, that you don't need to show you this and that you never asked for. But I have to trust that even though I may not have asked for the feelings or the circustances to happen that God does know best.
The one thing we can do is say what we need to say when we wanto say and when we feel the need to say it. We can trust that God is in control and has our best interests at heart.
Do you ever feel that way? I do. I feel that way now and I have felt that way quite a bit throughout this year. It is a feeling that in many ways doesn't bother me but in other ways does. Let me explain: it bothers me when I want to use my feelings to help others or to hopefully help others. It bothers me when I just want to verbalize and get it out. It doesn't bother me when I realize the thoughts and feelings make me happy and I don't need to verbalize them.
I can say that I will never fully understand this feeling. The same way I will never fully understand the events of this year or rather the past couple of years.
My dad told me tonight that sometime we are taken through things or allowed to go through certian thing to better who we are or to show us who we are and can be. However, I struggle with going through things, times, that you don't need to show you this and that you never asked for. But I have to trust that even though I may not have asked for the feelings or the circustances to happen that God does know best.
The one thing we can do is say what we need to say when we wanto say and when we feel the need to say it. We can trust that God is in control and has our best interests at heart.
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