...it's one of my faults, yet at times it can be an attribute. I say it is one of my faults because I feel that lately, I want everything to be "perfect." I don't necessarily mean the Webster definition of perfect, but the definition that is in my brain. What is that meaning? I don't know exactly. I do know that recently I've felt that some of my wedding plans haven't been going well or rather, haven't been happening in the "perfect" timing that's in my head.
I've felt frustrated. It seems that even some small things have frustrated me and caused me to say, "seriously, this is frustrating me?!"
I've been told this is normal. I've been told, I have a lot on my plate and going on in my life.
I've also been told to just not worry or stress. How do I do this when in my mind all I'm doing is being concerned about timing of things?
I've felt like I'm not being the best fiancee possible to Matt. I've felt that he deserves so much better.
Why is all this happening? I'm letting Satan get to me. That's what I'm doing. I'm letting him steal the joy of preparing for the second best covenant I will make in my life. The first being my decision to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. What joy and happiness there is to know that I have found the one God wants me to spend the rest of my life with. We get to stand before friends and family in 67 days and make a covenant with God and between ourselves that we will love each other, support each other no matter what...through good and bad. Thinking about this makes me happy.
SO, I'm going to strive to not let the little things and the less than perfect things get to me. I know it will all get done and in the end, be perfect. What good does it do my body to worry and get stressed? None! It absolutely doesn't help at all, especially since the past 12 months have been a roller coaster for me health-wise. I need to take care of myself.
I'm so thankful God loves me no matter what and is seeing me through this time, just as He has through every other moment in my life. I'm very thankful for a fiance who loves me no matter what and cannot wait to spend the rest of his life with me. I'm thankful for my family and their support during this process. I'm thankful to my future family. In reality, no one has pushed their ideas on us for the wedding. Everyone has left it up to me and Matt. How lucky can one get?! So, I'm thankful, so very thankful.
Today = 67 days until I marry my best friend, my love!!!! :)
Today = a great day!
Today = a chance to not worry, to not be a perfectionist about everything
Today = a blessing from God!!
