I'm back from London! I got back Saturday afternoon after a very long flight. We were delayed on the plane close to an hour from leaving due to a delay in cargo getting to our lovely airplane and then you have to wait your turn to take off. I was in a window seat. No one was in the middle seat. The man in the aisle seat was a gentleman (he got my carryon down for me when we returned!). I was able to use a bit of the middle seat to sleep. I didn't want to take up the entire seat out of courtesy for the man on the aisle as I felt he had the right to utilize some of the seat too. I watched 3, yes 3, movies (The Help, Larry Crowne, and Julie & Julia) on the return flight. I also watched one new tv show, Revenge. I thoroughly enjoyed all the moves and the tv show! I would have watched more of Revenge but the pilot was all they had availalble.
London was wonderful! I will do a post on it eventually. However, right now I feel the need to talk about marriage and the idea that it will be a Fairy Tale (i.e. as is portrayed to us by Hollywood, Disney, etc.).
I married my beloved, amazing, wonderful husband, Matt, on December 19, 2010. Our first date was September 15, 2008. We had a period of time where we didn't date but it was a time of growth for both of us. We were engaged on April 8, 2010. He is everything. He is who God designed just for me. He is my love. He is my best friend. He is my prince charming. Does he match every detail I had on "The List" when I was younger? No. Is that ok? ABSOLUTELY! Why is that ok? It is ok because in all honestly some of the things we tend to put on "the list" are not necessities. They are wants and not needs. I needed him to be a Christian. I needed him to be the head of our household. I needed him to be the man. I needed him to love me with all that he has. I needed him to want to be with me. I needed him to know that I am the one God has for him. I strongly wanted him to be a college graduate and have a career that he loves and that could support us one day. He is a college graduate. He does love his career. He doesn't make a lot of money and I doubt we will ever fully rely on his one income to sustain us, but I'm sure with God's help we could make it work if need be. Did I want that to be the case? No. Did I want to marry someone who made more money than me and that I knew from the start would enable me to hopefully be a stay-at-home mom one day when it was the right time? Yes. Am I okay with that not being the case? Yes, I am. I won't lie and say I have don't have my moments where I am not okay with that but I am because this man that I married is perfect for me. He is the calm to my storm. He is the adventure to my structure. He is more than I can put into words. Do we have our moments? YES! Do we agree on everything? NO. Is it a fairy tale in Hollywood/Disney standards? No. Is it a fairy tale in God's standards? I think so! That makes me happy.
I remember going through our marriage counseling with the pastor who married us, Mark Poe. I really respect him and his wife, Kristi. They both married later in life and waited for God's timing. That's what Matt and I did too. Mark told us it would not be an easy road as husband and wife. He told us that sometimes we will not like each other but we will still love each other. He reminded us to keep God as our center as our cornerstone in the marriage. He gave us such great advice during our meetings. I must agree with him. Now, Matt and I have not had any serious arguments or any times that we just can't stand each other or whatnot, but we have had discussions. We have brought each other down back to reality. We are working as a team and getting used to living together. Hello, he is a boy! Have you ever lived with a boy and shared every aspect of your living space with a boy?! Yes, I have a brother but he had his own bathroom and his own bedroom and I was in college and working for the majority of his teenage years. I do remember his bathroom and bedroom, though.
Anyway, I write all this to say that it can be a Fairy Tale. The one that God wrote for you. That doesn't mean it will be butterflies and smiles and giddiness and perfection all the time. Marriage takes work. Marriage takes commitment. Marriage takes a friendship. Marriage takes a love that grows, even if you don't see it growing. Marriage is worth it.
While in London I heard of Kim Kardashian's filing for divorce from her husband, Kris Humphries. I read a lot of articles. I watched a couple of videos. Since being home I've read more. I did watch the 2 part wedding special. I did watch part of the Keeping up with the Kardashian season where they were dating and then got engaged. This entire situation saddens me. I do not know the situation. I do not know why she is divorcing him. I do know that I don't believe in divorce but I do believe there are situations where it is warranted. I don't believe, at this current juncture in time with the information that I have been given, that this is a warranted divorce. Do I feel as if they were in it for the ratings and money? Part of me says yes. Part of me says no. Part of me is indifferent.
What saddens me the most is that she has said it wasn't a fairy tale and she wanted a fairy tale. She says she should have broken it off before the wedding but got caught up. Honey, break it off before the wedding! You had millions of viewers, and I'd speculate that a lot of them are younger generations. We can all get over the over-the-top wedding that had way too too much money spent on it. However, it is hard to see that happen and then a divorce. Unfortunately, I feel that is the way of the world and Hollywood these days.
So, right now I'm sad because I think they should work it out as I do with all couples. I will say I don't agree but I will say that it is her life and she must do what she feels led to do. Some may say, well, I went through this. I have friends who have been married and then divorced; even family members. I can't say I agreed with their decisions but I can say that I trusted they made the right decision and we all moved on. Many times I've found out after as is the case when we find out about Hollywood marriages and divorces. There isn't much that can be done then.
However, I can still say that marriage is worth it. It is worth the fight. It is worth counseling, if that is what it takes. It is so absolutely wonderful to know my husband is always there for me, to know we come home to each other every day; to know we have each other's backs no matter what.
So, if you are struggling...fight. If you need counseling....find a counselor. If you need to talk to a friend....talk. Talk to your spouse. Try, try, try, to make it the best marriage in the world!
I know I want to make my marriage the best in the world. I love you, Matt!!!!
