It is a word that in my life was a treasured word. A word that held a very special place in my life, in my heart, in my mind. It is a word that to me is not used lightly. It is a word that can be used in a multitude of situations, when talking about God's creation whether it be that special person/significant other in our life, a sibling, a friend, the mountains, a sunrise, etc. However, when the use of the word comes to talking about a person...it is of the utmost or special word to me. Until recently...well, last year...I only remember one guy telling me I was beautiful. That man is my father, my dad, my daddy. He is an amazing Christian man and father. I couldn't ask for a better dad! I love him much! If i need anything he is there, no questions asked.
We are at today, and moments occur when I don't care if I ever hear the word beautiful mentioned in reference to me ever again. It has nothing to do with my dad, or my heavenly father who both think I'm beautiful inside and out. It has to do with someone who has taken away some of the specialness, you could say, of that word to me. I am leaning on God and allowing Him to heal this aspect of me. It takes time though.
I was recently reminded how often I was told I was beautiful. Then in that situation I was treated in a different way that made me question everything that was ever said to me. I am over that situation and time in my life. It was a great learning experience and I know God had and has a reason for me going through it. I'm so thankful that God kept me safe as so many worse things could have happened. I am blessed! I have moved on, which I love! However, I've found that I still need to lean on God and allow him to fully heal the part of me that doesn't feel beautiful.
To be honest, there have been situations since where I have felt beautiful, extremely happy, and that word has not even been uttered to me. Honestly, right now those times and moments in my life over the past several months are more precious than hearing that word.
I've realized that sometimes you don't have to say it. I've realized that God has wonderful, beautiful plans for my life that so far have not happened as I thought they would and will continue to not happen as I thought they would! But they are always what is best for me!
I'm not sure well I have articulated all of this, but it just goes to show you that I'm not perfect. As much as I look on the positive side, etc. it doesn't happen 100% of the time. I struggle with things just like anyone else, and I have things in my past that cause me to struggle at unexpected times like anyone else. However, I talk to God or pray to God and tell him all of this. I know that He will help me through it and I know that no matter what that I am a beautiful child of God. No, it isn't a word that I care to hear said to me in reference to how I look inside and/or out, but I will not forget that I am.
You ARE BEAUTIFUL too!! Don't forget that! I'm so thankful for my family and some very close friends who keep me grounded. I love them all dearly and thank them for all the fun we have and everything else.
~Jeremiah 29:11~
1 comment:
Misty...first, let me be another person to say honestly that you are beautiful! Seriously! And I cannot thank you enough for the gift of your words today on my blog. They meant so much and ministered in deep ways. I have not processed how Jada would feel about losing her sister and how this next baby would be a ministry to her healing as well. So, THANK YOU for taking your time to encourage me in those deep places that the Lord can only reach. Bless you, friend and thanks again!- Much love- Steph
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