Can I plan another wedding for me?!

Oh, how wonderful it would be to plan another wedding for Matt and me!  Even more wonderful if it was pre-paid.  Yes, I miss that excitement of just getting engaged (a year ago tomorrow, April 8th, will mark our one year anniversary since getting engaged!), the excitement of planning for the BIG DAY!  Yes, our BIG DAY was exactly what God wanted us to have and was perfect!  No, in reality, everything did not turn out as I had dreamed or wanted, but I had the perfect dress, I felt like a million bucks and could be on the cover of inStyle or Vogue, I had the man of my dreams waiting for me at the end of the aisle, we had laughs when our sand overflowed, we had our best friends (or almost all) in attendance, we had as many family members as could make the trip there, we had a beautiful "Sex in the City" reception as one person told me of the entire wedding!.  Yes, it was a blast!  Yes, it went by so fast!  Yes, we have our pictures (well the DVDs)!  Yes, we have almost all of our videos!  Yes, my name is now officially changed to Glover!

However, the past several months have been far from easy.  I cannot say that we have dealt with extreme circumstances, but for me/us there have been obstacles.  I've been dealing with some health stuff that seems to be getting better (slowly).  I dealt with the loss of a family friend.  Matt has dealt with the loss of a former coworker.  I've been dealing with decisions that I can't even vocalize right now.  Relationships with people have changed since getting married.  I didn't expect that.  Some of the relationships had changed prior to the wedding, and even though I have tried so hard for those not to change...they have.  It makes me sad to realize those relationships were never what I really thought they were.  Sadness.  We have celebrated an upcoming wedding at a couples shower!  One of my bridesmaids and best friends just had her baby boy yesterday!  Overall, we are healthy!  We both still have jobs, which is wonderful!  We have a lot to be thankful for.

I do ask if you think of us to pray.  I'd like to have a blog that would reveal great fashion finds and advice as I love this stuff and Matt says I'm so good at it.  But I feel I lack the time and knowledge to do this.  I have a really good friend from my childhood/growing up years that has one and does an amazing job!  I'd like to get back to cooking and make our own recipes and meals but timing is usually an issue with our schedules.  I'd like to bake more but be able to give it away so we don't eat it all! haha!  I'd like to find my way back to my piano and singing, but I'm struggling with the fact that my house may be the only outlet for it.  I'm seeking answers and guidance to things that can't be mentioned right now.

What am I doing?  I'm praying.  I'm trusting God, even though at times it is very hard.  I'm trusting He is opening doors, showing us the path to take, and I know he will guide us.  I cling to Jeremiah 29:11 and the end of Matthew 6.  I'm trying to focus on the fun things we will be able to do this summer when Matt has no coaching responsibilities.  I'm trying not to worry about the fact that I will be working on some of those trips.  I'm trying to focus on the fact that in about a week and a half we will have been married for 4 months!  Crazy how time flies!  I'm excited to be an "aunt" to Nathan!

I'm going to focus on those exciting things.  This isn't going to be a year filled with the excitement of planning the biggest event of my life, thus far, but it will be a great year!  God doesn't give you more than you can handle.  So, I know it will be a great day, great week, great month, great spring, great year!

Have a blessed day!
~M